Look out world, here comes the clowns

my day was dumb so i wont bother you with all the details. tonite though i was driving down the road, and this crazy drunk redneck fellow was flagging cars down. so of course i kept driving. but i decided that the dude might need some serious help so i turned around. i stopped next to him and shined my flashlight in his eyes and told him to just keep back from my truck. he was in a really empty stretch of road where noone should ever walk at night. so i asked him if he needed help, and he said and i quote,"my sister and brother have their baby at the trailor and they are botch snorting cocaine, so i got out of there and i'm walking to the sherriffs office (which he didnt know was roughly a thirty minute drive from where he was)." so i call the police and they tell me to hold him there for a few minutes until they can get someone down. talk about an awkward conversation.
ME- So where you from
DUDE- Alabama, got any cig's?
ME-Nope dont smoke
(several moments of horrible, scarry silence)
ME- gosh cant be much longer till the police show up
DUDE- nope
(more moments go by, i think the guy might be plotting killing me and feeding my body to his inbreed children)
ME- So you been in tennessee long
DUDE- nope
(oh my gosh, he is going to kill me)
ME- How long you been walking
DUDE- i dont know
ME- Oh well you must be cold
DUDE- nope
(where is the cops when you need them, they are just waiting for me to be slaughtered by the drunk redneck, who also smells like the worst smelling thing you can imagine. think raw sewage wrapped in skunk, dipped in 2 month old mexican food, then you would have an idea.)

well after what seemed like forever the police finally show. i dont know what happened from there. seemed like a good idea to tell you all that though. But noone should ever attempt to do this, i am an untrained individual, but i also had my good knife and a pistol in the belt.

Also if COPS would have been filming for their next show this guy would have fit in b/c he had a mullet, and of course his shirt had gone missing!