How I Spend My M.W.F's
1. Killed 45 minutes by flipping a penny 100 times to see if the heads-to-tail odds would really be 50/50....ended up being 62 heads-to-38 tails
2. Made a note to never say "Tails never fails" ever again
3. Discovered that I get a slight twitch in my left eye everytime someone calls me.
4. Realized even at the age of 21, I still like to spin globes and pretend wherever my finger is when it stops is where I will live....Go Madagascar!
5. Saw a midget struggling at a drinking fountain.
6. Spent the next five minutes watching midget struggle.
7. Glued my fingers and toes together to see if I could swim faster
8. Continue to wonder how those ships get into those bottles
9. Filled out an online questionnaire...when asked "tell us something unique about yourself" I replied with "I once was the runner up in a Burt Reynolds look-a-like contest."
10. Stood behind a guy who either shit his pants, or didn't know his shirt was in the way when he was wiping off his ass
11. Discovered my newest fear: not knowing my shirt got in the way while wiping my ass at work
12. Saw a bum pretend there was an earthquake happening when a large woman walked past him, it was then that I realized; bums can be entertaining even when their not pissing in the middle of a busy street
13. Nominated the next hurricane to be named hurricane "That Fucker"
14. Spent the rest of my afternoon watching the news and replacing "Katrina" with "That Fucker"
-"that fucker" did alot of damage.
-"that fucker" sure ruined alot of lifes...
15. Ate silly putty out of pure boredom
16. Shat out silly putty...renamed it shitty putty
17. Wondered why guys named William go by Bill, but never Billiam
18. Set a new goal of writing a book which can be judged by it's cover
19. Snotted when I sneezed...I have no clue where it went
20. Called U-Haul to see "how many immigrants they thought I could pile up in the back of one of those things
21. Asked my grandma if she would give me an allowance...she declined
Today I celebrated the 7677th day of my life.
Today I celebrated the 7677th day in a row of not being stabbed.
Also according to my unofficial online life clock I only have 56.865 years left to live.
2. Made a note to never say "Tails never fails" ever again
3. Discovered that I get a slight twitch in my left eye everytime someone calls me.
4. Realized even at the age of 21, I still like to spin globes and pretend wherever my finger is when it stops is where I will live....Go Madagascar!
5. Saw a midget struggling at a drinking fountain.
6. Spent the next five minutes watching midget struggle.
7. Glued my fingers and toes together to see if I could swim faster
8. Continue to wonder how those ships get into those bottles
9. Filled out an online questionnaire...when asked "tell us something unique about yourself" I replied with "I once was the runner up in a Burt Reynolds look-a-like contest."
10. Stood behind a guy who either shit his pants, or didn't know his shirt was in the way when he was wiping off his ass
11. Discovered my newest fear: not knowing my shirt got in the way while wiping my ass at work
12. Saw a bum pretend there was an earthquake happening when a large woman walked past him, it was then that I realized; bums can be entertaining even when their not pissing in the middle of a busy street
13. Nominated the next hurricane to be named hurricane "That Fucker"
14. Spent the rest of my afternoon watching the news and replacing "Katrina" with "That Fucker"
-"that fucker" did alot of damage.
-"that fucker" sure ruined alot of lifes...
15. Ate silly putty out of pure boredom
16. Shat out silly putty...renamed it shitty putty
17. Wondered why guys named William go by Bill, but never Billiam
18. Set a new goal of writing a book which can be judged by it's cover
19. Snotted when I sneezed...I have no clue where it went
20. Called U-Haul to see "how many immigrants they thought I could pile up in the back of one of those things
21. Asked my grandma if she would give me an allowance...she declined
Today I celebrated the 7677th day of my life.
Today I celebrated the 7677th day in a row of not being stabbed.
Also according to my unofficial online life clock I only have 56.865 years left to live.
posted by Brad at
11:43 PM
|
0 comments
