more highlights of my life...and the other stuff

1. Had a new neighbor move in, goes by the name of Bill, asked him if he wanted to come over and watch some Nascar races.
2. An old lady at work called me a "fucking ass clown" when i couldnt move a 300 pound stainless steel refrigerator by myself.
3. Made a bet that a co-worker wouldnt change the managers parking sign to "parking for assholes only." I'm probably going to lose.
4.Called up to the HR department to find out if question #5 on my 2006 employee health benefits form, "Do you smoke?" meant cigarettes or "like other stuff"
5.Shattered last months numbers by only being spotted twice scratching my balls in public
6.Answered the question; "Who actually buys this shit?" when a guy at the gas station was complaining that the condom machine in the bathroom took his money.
7. Walked in on a guy picking a booger in the bathroom at work.
8. Let out a huge fart and said to the booger guy, "dude you're disgusting"
9. asked my manager what day my christmas break would be starting.
10. Drew a picture of me and my boss holding hands under a rainbow...gave it to him
11.Took a mental note that I was never officially given a talk on workplace sexual harassment
12. Talked to the Home Depot whore for like 45 minutes.

So life has really just turned my brain into mush. The biggest freak in the world Marilyn Manson married his girlfriend and i cant even get a date... Who says God doesnt have a snese of humor? Why is it that everyone in the world is in a hurry except that one guy who is always in front of me. Ive recently came to the decisoion that i want nothing to do with anyone anymore. People are just starting to get to me. I dont know why. I guess it is a good thing that im leaving and going to a new school, but i dont know how it will be any different. I really do like the commercial where the kid puts his hand in his mouth and talks about smoking weed, and the peyton manning commercial, and potato soup from a can. im tired of christmas music and salvation army bells. If i could be anyone in the world right now i would be Papa Smurf...i bet that dude gets all kinds of christmas presents. Apparently I have a good tooth to gum ratio and right i think i want a spoonfull of cookie dough. dont call me a retard we prefer the term little people. I believe I will have my victory muffin now, im thinking blueberry. I bought a new toothbrush the other day and broke it in like 4 strokes of the teeth. it ruined my life, so did you.