If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
Happy Presidents Day! I know, it's so exciting. My celebration will include french kissing all the one's and five's in my wallet, blogging in a powdered wig and asking store clerks if they'd walk to my house to give me correct change.
i had some spare time yesterday and decided taht i needed to get somethings from target, realistacly i just like walking around in there because well just becuase i do, so i go to checkout and there are two lines open. one of the women looks like she knows exactly what it was like to live through the taft administration so i went with the other line. I had just resigned myself that this would be a miserable outing when a spry old man walked toward me wearing a captain's hat.Yes, a captain's hat.It wasn't part of a uniform. It didn't even match his shirt or jacket. The old man just decided he wanted to wear a fucking captain's hat this afternoon.The smile on his face said, "Deal with it motherfuckers! This is my favorite hat!" so thats what he did. and now im going to goodwill to find a captains hat of my own, so deal with that motherfuckers.
Anyway, you know when people talk about having “one of those days”? Well I’ve just had one of those weeks. Really, stressful doesn’t even begin to describe what’s been going on. The only way things could’ve gone worse is there’d actually been shit and a fan. And at least in that situation I would’ve had good pictures…
Every time i decide that i want snack food i go to the international market. If you have never been there there are two things that are of most importance. 1. they have the best food ever and 2. its like being in a pet store with the thousands of varieties of live fish that they have. They’ve got these crazy big fish there in these tiny tanks just waiting to be butchered in there. One in particular, the biggest of the bunch, had caught my eye some time back. I don’t know why, but I make a point of visiting with him every time I go shopping. Today though, he seemed sullen. I couldn’t even get his attention. It was like we were in similar moods...
Thats him...thats Bob the Buffalo Fish. He is awesome! Dudes gotta be like 20 pounds, which is the main problem. he cost about 4.75 a pound if the market is right. Some say freedom is priceless, but according to the chines guy its about 90 dollars and some change. So thats why i must steal him and set him free in the Cumberland river or somewhere like that. i got a new camera so i could document the whole thing, its going to be great. But why would i do something like this you ask? well because bob is my kindred spirit, my soulmate one could say, and since its starting to look like i will never ever date anyone on a consistant basis i might as well lower myself to freeing chinese seafood. So what if he will probably die in the freezing cold water, its better than being eaten, and at least he can die for free, or as a free fish i guess. bob will be free'd soon, i might even call upon you to be my photographer for the event. in other news Dr. Ming Wang, the fish that lived on our end table in the living room died, Bob might replace him, we'll see.
I need an intern. No pay, but you can live in the basement for free if tahts what gets you off then thats cool i guess, ive got no food so you cant really eat, and dawson says the electric bill is to high so heat and hot showers and radio or computers or anything else that might be a good thing in life will be considered a no no. but seriously be my intern, just let me know who wants the job, i will hire the first person who wants the position (references required but not necessary)
i get mad when i talk to my dog and he pretends not to understand... because i know he does. so i calmly tell him things like "i know you know what i'm saying, and one of these days you're going to be hanging from a cliff or something and then, then my friend, you'll be all talk and chatter when you need me to save your life. but i'll just stand there and be like 'huh? i don't know what you're saying.' i hate my dog.
I got a ticket for exhibition driving in the snow the other day. apparently it is illegal to do doughnuts in the middle of the road just for shits and giggles, and apparetnly it is more illegal if you just keep doing it after you think the cop has made it around the curve and cant see you anymore. cops are bitches and so is anyone who wants to be one...wait, crap. so my insurance will go up now, unless i can argue my way out of the ticket, i doubt it though, it was by a trooper that ive never met before, that bastard. i hope he doesnt read my blog, that would be awkward. funny story, my life sucks.
Hannah told me to write an article, so i wrote this blog with paragraphs and even used complete sentences 83% of the time ( it only took me three tries to find the % sign, the exact order was ?$%, in case you were wondering.) anyways im not writing an article for at least two reasons. 1. im retarded and it takes me about two or three days to write this blog that nobody reads 2. noboby reads the stuff that i already have 3. im jsut lazy and wouldnt know how to write an article and change makes me wet the bed.
i had some spare time yesterday and decided taht i needed to get somethings from target, realistacly i just like walking around in there because well just becuase i do, so i go to checkout and there are two lines open. one of the women looks like she knows exactly what it was like to live through the taft administration so i went with the other line. I had just resigned myself that this would be a miserable outing when a spry old man walked toward me wearing a captain's hat.Yes, a captain's hat.It wasn't part of a uniform. It didn't even match his shirt or jacket. The old man just decided he wanted to wear a fucking captain's hat this afternoon.The smile on his face said, "Deal with it motherfuckers! This is my favorite hat!" so thats what he did. and now im going to goodwill to find a captains hat of my own, so deal with that motherfuckers.
Anyway, you know when people talk about having “one of those days”? Well I’ve just had one of those weeks. Really, stressful doesn’t even begin to describe what’s been going on. The only way things could’ve gone worse is there’d actually been shit and a fan. And at least in that situation I would’ve had good pictures…
Every time i decide that i want snack food i go to the international market. If you have never been there there are two things that are of most importance. 1. they have the best food ever and 2. its like being in a pet store with the thousands of varieties of live fish that they have. They’ve got these crazy big fish there in these tiny tanks just waiting to be butchered in there. One in particular, the biggest of the bunch, had caught my eye some time back. I don’t know why, but I make a point of visiting with him every time I go shopping. Today though, he seemed sullen. I couldn’t even get his attention. It was like we were in similar moods...
Thats him...thats Bob the Buffalo Fish. He is awesome! Dudes gotta be like 20 pounds, which is the main problem. he cost about 4.75 a pound if the market is right. Some say freedom is priceless, but according to the chines guy its about 90 dollars and some change. So thats why i must steal him and set him free in the Cumberland river or somewhere like that. i got a new camera so i could document the whole thing, its going to be great. But why would i do something like this you ask? well because bob is my kindred spirit, my soulmate one could say, and since its starting to look like i will never ever date anyone on a consistant basis i might as well lower myself to freeing chinese seafood. So what if he will probably die in the freezing cold water, its better than being eaten, and at least he can die for free, or as a free fish i guess. bob will be free'd soon, i might even call upon you to be my photographer for the event. in other news Dr. Ming Wang, the fish that lived on our end table in the living room died, Bob might replace him, we'll see.
I need an intern. No pay, but you can live in the basement for free if tahts what gets you off then thats cool i guess, ive got no food so you cant really eat, and dawson says the electric bill is to high so heat and hot showers and radio or computers or anything else that might be a good thing in life will be considered a no no. but seriously be my intern, just let me know who wants the job, i will hire the first person who wants the position (references required but not necessary)
i get mad when i talk to my dog and he pretends not to understand... because i know he does. so i calmly tell him things like "i know you know what i'm saying, and one of these days you're going to be hanging from a cliff or something and then, then my friend, you'll be all talk and chatter when you need me to save your life. but i'll just stand there and be like 'huh? i don't know what you're saying.' i hate my dog.
I got a ticket for exhibition driving in the snow the other day. apparently it is illegal to do doughnuts in the middle of the road just for shits and giggles, and apparetnly it is more illegal if you just keep doing it after you think the cop has made it around the curve and cant see you anymore. cops are bitches and so is anyone who wants to be one...wait, crap. so my insurance will go up now, unless i can argue my way out of the ticket, i doubt it though, it was by a trooper that ive never met before, that bastard. i hope he doesnt read my blog, that would be awkward. funny story, my life sucks.
Hannah told me to write an article, so i wrote this blog with paragraphs and even used complete sentences 83% of the time ( it only took me three tries to find the % sign, the exact order was ?$%, in case you were wondering.) anyways im not writing an article for at least two reasons. 1. im retarded and it takes me about two or three days to write this blog that nobody reads 2. noboby reads the stuff that i already have 3. im jsut lazy and wouldnt know how to write an article and change makes me wet the bed.
posted by Brad at
8:56 PM
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